Girls, Take Yourself Seriously

My Dear Girls-

Take yourselves seriously. Work hard for the respect of others. As far as you are concerned carry yourself in a manner that communicates how much you respect yourself. Other's will believe you. And if they don't, the joke's on them. Embrace your beauty but hesitate before using your sexuality to gain advancement - in the long run it only deteriorates people's opinion of you. It deteriorates their opinion of all of us. Hold yourself with unmistakable dignity. Speak clearly with assertiveness. Ditch any passive aggressiveness as well as any unnecessary aggression. Gossip never. Talk about ideas more. And don't forget to love.

Also...this:

“You may not agree with a woman, but to criticize her appearance — as opposed to her ideas or actions — isn’t doing anyone any favors, least of all you. Insulting a woman’s looks when they have nothing to do with the issue at hand implies a lack of comprehension on your part, an inability to engage in high-level thinking. You may think she’s ugly, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.” - Hillary Clinton

A Night In

As I've wrapped up the last few weeks of one commitment or another I celebrated with a much deserved night in. Yes yes, my 28th birthday was just last week and while my body ages my behavior has seemed to age as well. I mean, I used to spend every spare night dancing or show-hopping. What an old lady I have become. 

I have found myself shrugging off my staying-in tendencies as if embarrassed with a joke about my age or (gasp!) "do I have walking pneumonia?!" No, I don't.  But lately, I've been learning a lot of what it really means to burn the candle at both ends. So all of that has me wondering . . . is there anything to be ashamed of?

The last two weeks saw a half marathon, my birthday, my little sister's wedding celebrations, a lot of hard work at the office, and my regular commitments. I've neglected things like the gym, my hobbies, writing on this here blog, and healthy eating. A few nights to reset and rest might really just be what the doctor ordered. And working restful evenings back into my weekly schedule feels like a must right about now.

Still... a small part of me cringes at the thought of getting old and boring so here again, I'm attempting to find a healthy balance.

Enjoying things

Well, hello there. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind! My little sister was married (ahhh!!!), I had the most splendid birthday, the sis and I ran a half marathon (before the wedding obviously), and I really just loved every minute of it. Though not every minute of the half marathon. That would be ridiculous.

Things I've been enjoying as of late:
-There are flower arrangements all over my house. Compliments of leftovers from the sis's wedding. It smells like heaven 'round here.

-I've been trying to wake up a little earlier than normal to enjoy a cup of coffee, read a little, or just actually have time to fix my hair before work (I'm sure my bosses appreciate it). I have to say, my perspective on mornings is changing. Changing in that I don't hate them as much as I used to. But really, having a cup of coffee in the quiet morning hours before others are awake can be pretty magical. I think I'll keep it up for at least a bit.

-I've been listening through some musicians and albums I've neglected for a wee bit too long. Particularly this Patty Griffin song:
 
It's good, huh?

Resolute

In keeping with my usual New Years tradition I have thought over a few words I really want to describe my next year. I'll continue to dive into these more and more over the next month and provide some explanation as to why I chose these and how I intent to live them. But here the are for you to read. And for me to now feel a responsibility to keep them:

Spontaneous.

Love well.

Adventurous.

Beautiful.

I gave up specific New Years goals a couple years ago. I turned out to be quite the over-achiever and my resolutions rarely reachable. But feeling like a grown up and needing to get some definite things accomplished here are some of this year's more tangible goals:

Use this year to find artwork and artists that I really love. I want to decorate with beautifully large pieces.

Learn more about old fashioned cocktails and the art of making them.

Pray.

Read.

Pay off debt.

Take that long awaited southern trip. Savannah and Charleston- I'm coming your way!

Wishing you all the most wonderful night and the happiest of new years! I will see you guys in 2013.

Everyone Can't Like You

Even as a firm-believer in loving everyone I have to be honest- there are people I don't really get along with that well. And I used to get horribly upset with someone didn't really like me that much either (pretty hypocritical of me, huh?). I thrived on the satisfaction I got from knowing everyone loved me. Found pride there even. I got thinking on my people-pleasing habits and my need to be liked by any and all and have realized I'm not as approval-needy as I used to be.

An ex-boyfriend had some simple, yet wise words on the topic that flipped the way I thought about approval seeking (I remember this because it was one of the two smart things he probably ever said to me): 

"You can't expect everyone to like you, just like you don't like everyone you meet."

He meant there were way to many people with way to many differences and this vast spread of personalities were bound to clash from time to time. So be ok with it. 

Oh yes, be kind to people regardless of your feelings, treat others with the dignity you would hope to receive from them ( the "do-unto-others" rule), even love them - but let go of the self-pressure to make everyone like you. Chances are you will meet someone at sometime with a personality that clashes with yours. You won't necessarily like them and they won't completely be sold on you either. Love them well and leave it there. What does that one person's approval give you that you so desperately need? Are you using the approval of others to validate yourself? If so - it won't ever satisfy and that validation must be found somewhere better.

Are you an approval seeker like me? How have you found freedom from it?