Thursday, December 27, 2012

Everyone Can't Like You

Even as a firm-believer in loving everyone I have to be honest- there are people I don't really get along with that well. And I used to get horribly upset with someone didn't really like me that much either (pretty hypocritical of me, huh?). I thrived on the satisfaction I got from knowing everyone loved me. Found pride there even. I got thinking on my people-pleasing habits and my need to be liked by any and all and have realized I'm not as approval-needy as I used to be.

An ex-boyfriend had some simple, yet wise words on the topic that flipped the way I thought about approval seeking (I remember this because it was one of the two smart things he probably ever said to me): 

"You can't expect everyone to like you, just like you don't like everyone you meet."

He meant there were way to many people with way to many differences and this vast spread of personalities were bound to clash from time to time. So be ok with it. 

Oh yes, be kind to people regardless of your feelings, treat others with the dignity you would hope to receive from them ( the "do-unto-others" rule), even love them - but let go of the self-pressure to make everyone like you. Chances are you will meet someone at sometime with a personality that clashes with yours. You won't necessarily like them and they won't completely be sold on you either. Love them well and leave it there. What does that one person's approval give you that you so desperately need? Are you using the approval of others to validate yourself? If so - it won't ever satisfy and that validation must be found somewhere better.

Are you an approval seeker like me? How have you found freedom from it?

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